I think it started when I was pregnant. Red’s hair has always been his best exterior trait, so naturally when I let the news fly we were expecting a little girl in 2015, people began to ask, “Do you think she will have red hair?” Honestly, I thought there was at least a 50% chance. The other 50%, I figured, would be blonde like me, my mom or my brother. The last thing I figured would be the “Snow White” black hair she was born with.
At the age of four months, all that black hair became a dark auburn color and promptly fell out. Scarlett was bald as a biscuit… What would come in its place? Would she be a blonde? It was highly unlikely that red hair would follow, though Granddaddy prophesied there might be some red hair in there, but there was not. This is when the comments started up again. Anytime Red and his sister were together, they commented on his hair, and the lack of “color” in hers.
Well, there might be some red in there.
I’m surprised her hair is so dark.
Why aren’t you changing your blog’s title?
That last one threw me. Folks has asked me as Red aged into grade school if I would change it because I wasn’t a Mom of a very little kid, or a baby. But I always knew in my heart that I would always be his Mama, and that suited me just fine. And now that Scarlett was with us, staying right where I was made me happy. But when they questioned the name because of her hair color I felt weird. No. I wouldn’t change it just because my daughter wasn’t born with red hair. That’s silly.
The reason I haphazardly named the blog (while bathing an 8-month-old Red, shouting to Chase in the kitchen to check blogspot URLs) was for him. That was the initial reason I started this dog and pony show. To follow our life with Red (and now Scarlett) and document the crazy. The real. The unexpected. To find awesome things to do and follow my evolving passions. It would be strange for this to be a reason to change. It would be a slight to both of my kids; to change because one of them didn’t fit the mold. I can’t fully put into words why I was put back by these comments. Maybe one day I’ll find the explanation for my feelings.
My kids are so both very different. I see similar tendencies and behaviors, but even at their young ages, they are both their own person. So, if they have different hair colors, that’s cool with me. Heck, if they had different eye colors, or one like rocket ships and the other tea sets, that’s also cool.
So what if my “other baby doesn’t have red hair.” You could also say, “your other baby doesn’t have brown hair…” same sentence, but the meaning now feels… well, biased. Have you ever had someone bring up the differences in your kids and it made you feel like that person was saying one was better?
Man, I am feeling this today. People will always make comments on your family. We’re always supposed to be trying for a girl? As if two healthy children aren’t good enough.
ALl of the things. Yes to that, too. I’ve been asked when we’re having the third. Are ya’ll done? Aren’t you glad that you have one of each; perfect… when really, it only mattered that they were both alive and well. *le sigh*
Scarlett has the same coloring as my son. I am willing to bet that one day she will have golden blonde hair that isn’t quite strawberry blonde, but isn’t quite blond either. In some light it will look red. But it will be absolutely gorgeous because it is a rare color.
It’s for her rosy red cheeks!
If I had a dollar every time I heard this, I’d have four college funds! I don’t understand why people feel the need to say something. Especially in front of the kids making one feel superior and another inferior!
My boys are both brunette like me. I would have been SHOCKED if they came out with any other color. It’s funny because you never know what’s in their genes.
To me it looks like your daughter does have red hair so I guess it depends who you ask. 🙂 My daughter was also born with jet black hair that turned blond and has settled into a light brown. Isn’t it fascinating?
What a beautiful family, we love little red heads. Some people seriously don’t think before they talk.
I grew up with 6 brothers adn not one of us look exactly alike. I have blonde well know more grey hair, one has red hair and the other have more brownish. GO figure how genetic really work all I know is we all have the same mama.
Ahh, people need to keep their opinions to themselves sometimes. You have two beautiful children!
I have a son who was born last year, so he does not have siblings, however in our family we all have black hair so we have never been compared. So long as they are healthy, I dont think it matters what colours kids hair is.
I think that in general, people need to think more carefully about what they ask. I am not a mom, but am ALWAYS asked when I will be. . Maybe thats not a question one should ask…maybe its got a lot of complications. Its something that people feel too comfortable in chatting about (hair color, number of kids, etc…).
I love your blog name and your kids are just plain adorable. I am glad you are sticking with the name. My niece was born with blonde hair and became a redheaded beauty at 16. Those blonde locks turned strawberry blonde (with no chemical help!) so you never know!!!
I ALWAYS get the ‘trying for a girl’ comment. My boys are 9 and 12! You would think that would have stopped by now? How is my family ‘less than’ because I don’t have a daughter? It suits us just fine, NOYB, STFU. Thanks. 🙂
It’s ridiculous what other people ask thinking that it’s okay because you’re friends or you’re close. It’s completely insensitive. I love that you chose not to be affected in any way. Please keep your blog title.
I don’t have kids but I would NEVER say that to someone! You still have one red headed baby! It is catchy and cute! Don’t change it unless YOU want to.
I don’t know why people feel they have the right to comment, question, or judge others. “Beautiful kids” should be comment enough.
I encountered this a lot of times when my kids were younger. People ask silly questions!
My husband’s whole family are very dark brown, every single one of them…. except his sister. His sister has bright red and curly hair… completely different from ALL of the family. In the next generation my husbands niece has bright red hair also… completely different from the eight other cousins. It happens.
It’s crazy what people say. I’m pregnant right now and I’m wondering if our 2nd son will have blonde hair too. Neither my Husband or I have blonde hair!
I love the blog name! It doesn’t necessarily need to change just because your life changes a bit. Plus you’ve probably already spent a bunch of time branding. No need to change!
My kiddos all have hair on the darker side like mine. But, my oldest and my youngest- their hair gets almost dark blonde in the summertime.
Genes are funny things. I have dark brown, straight hair and dark brown eyes. My daughter has blue eyes and blonde, curly hair.
Oh my goodness, people can be silly. I have 6 kids and I have seen the rainbow 🙂 We had 2 that were born red and are now light blonde. One was born very dark and is now blonde and 1 has always been brunette. It’s funny to see people wondering 🙂
Omg my brother and I were practically twins when we were little… we looked so alike.. then my sister was born and she looked nothing like us! People use to comment on it all the time which use to make me feel bad for my sister….
I definitely have. In Indian culture (my husband’s Indian) the first born is always the one people tend to consider the best. I have three boys and try so hard to make sure they don’t ever feel that.
I have five girls, plus a bonus daughter, and I am so grateful (and blessed) that each one of them are so different. When they were born, we had blonds, a brown, a strawberry redhead, and even a Snow White like your daughter. In a general way, all my girls look alike, but as they grow they’ve taken on their own look and external traits. As for hair, we’ve had it all, including blue and violet!
Isn’t it amazing what people will say. Makes me wonder if they think before they speak.
I don’t have kids, but that would annoy me people making comments. I was the only kid, so I had no siblings to be compared to haha. However, when I was born, I had golden blonde hair and then when I was 5 years, it was dark brown!
I love the name of your blog! It’s so original and fun. My son also went totally bald at a few months old, and he went from black hair to blond, when it grew back in.
You do you Mama! People are ALWAYS going to have something to say. always. especially on the internet! Do what honors your family and your values and that’s all you need to worry about!
I only have one child so far, but I do think about the possibility of people comparing my children in the future. My son has beautiful, big eyes that people always comment on.
i have 2 girls. i get asked a lot if i want a boy, but i’m done. your kids are beautiful
people always have so much to say! you have such a beautiful family (can’t wait to start my own someday soon!)
I think people get blinded by the red hair and it flusters them:) I am one of three sisters, two of us had red hair and one did not. My sister without red hair had brown hair (and no freckles too). People would ask my mom, in front of her, if she was adopted! It was horrible. Don’t change the name of your blog, there is not enough redhead blogs out there.
Agreed. It’s so strange what they latch on to, and how many times I’ve heard it already! 🙂 Thank you for the kind words!