I think it started when I was pregnant. Red’s hair has always been his best exterior trait, so naturally when I let the news fly we were expecting a little girl in 2015, people began to ask, “Do you think she will have red hair?” Honestly, I thought there was at least a 50% chance. The other 50%, I figured, would be blonde like me, my mom or my brother. The last thing I figured would be the “Snow White” black hair she was born with.
At the age of four months, all that black hair became a dark auburn color and promptly fell out. Scarlett was bald as a biscuit… What would come in its place? Would she be a blonde? It was highly unlikely that red hair would follow, though Granddaddy prophesied there might be some red hair in there, but there was not. This is when the comments started up again. Anytime Red and his sister were together, they commented on his hair, and the lack of “color” in hers.
Well, there might be some red in there.
I’m surprised her hair is so dark.
Why aren’t you changing your blog’s title?
That last one threw me. Folks has asked me as Red aged into grade school if I would change it because I wasn’t a Mom of a very little kid, or a baby. But I always knew in my heart that I would always be his Mama, and that suited me just fine. And now that Scarlett was with us, staying right where I was made me happy. But when they questioned the name because of her hair color I felt weird. No. I wouldn’t change it just because my daughter wasn’t born with red hair. That’s silly.
The reason I haphazardly named the blog (while bathing an 8-month-old Red, shouting to Chase in the kitchen to check blogspot URLs) was for him. That was the initial reason I started this dog and pony show. To follow our life with Red (and now Scarlett) and document the crazy. The real. The unexpected. To find awesome things to do and follow my evolving passions. It would be strange for this to be a reason to change. It would be a slight to both of my kids; to change because one of them didn’t fit the mold. I can’t fully put into words why I was put back by these comments. Maybe one day I’ll find the explanation for my feelings.
My kids are so both very different. I see similar tendencies and behaviors, but even at their young ages, they are both their own person. So, if they have different hair colors, that’s cool with me. Heck, if they had different eye colors, or one like rocket ships and the other tea sets, that’s also cool.
So what if my “other baby doesn’t have red hair.” You could also say, “your other baby doesn’t have brown hair…” same sentence, but the meaning now feels… well, biased. Have you ever had someone bring up the differences in your kids and it made you feel like that person was saying one was better?