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But Your OTHER Baby Doesn’t Have Red Hair

September 4, 2016 36 Comments

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I think it started when I was pregnant.  Red’s hair has always been his best exterior trait, so naturally when I let the news fly we were expecting a little girl in 2015, people began to ask, “Do you think she will have red hair?”  Honestly, I thought there was at least a 50% chance.  The other 50%, I figured, would be blonde like me, my mom or my brother.  The last thing I figured would be the “Snow White” black hair she was born with.  

Our little family is doing their part to #EndMommyWars

At the age of four months, all that black hair became a dark auburn color and promptly fell out.  Scarlett was bald as a biscuit… What would come in its place? Would she be a blonde? It was highly unlikely that red hair would follow, though Granddaddy prophesied there might be some red hair in there, but there was not.  This is when the comments started up again.  Anytime Red and his sister were together, they commented on his hair, and the lack of “color” in hers.  

Well, there might be some red in there.  

I’m surprised her hair is so dark. 

Why aren’t  you changing your blog’s title?

That last one threw me.  Folks has asked me as Red aged into grade school if I would change it because I wasn’t a Mom of a very little kid, or a baby.  But I always knew in my heart that I would always be his Mama, and that suited me just fine.  And now that Scarlett was with us, staying right where I was made me happy.  But when they questioned the name because of her hair color I felt weird.  No. I wouldn’t change it just because my daughter wasn’t born with red hair.  That’s silly. 

But your OTHER baby isn't a redhead... why not? via @redheadbabymama

The reason I haphazardly named the blog (while bathing an 8-month-old Red, shouting to Chase in the kitchen to check blogspot URLs) was for him.  That was the initial reason I started this dog and pony show.  To follow our life with Red (and now Scarlett) and document the crazy.  The real.  The unexpected.  To find awesome things to do and follow my evolving passions.  It would be strange for this to be a reason to change.  It would be a slight to both of my kids; to change because one of them didn’t fit the mold.  I can’t fully put into words why I was put back by these comments.  Maybe one day I’ll find the explanation for my feelings. 

                  IMG_7594 IMG_7588

My kids are so both very different. I see similar tendencies and behaviors, but even at their young ages, they are both their own person.  So, if they have different hair colors, that’s cool with me.  Heck, if they had different eye colors, or one like rocket ships and the other tea sets, that’s also cool.  

So what if my “other baby doesn’t have red hair.”  You could also say, “your other baby doesn’t have brown hair…” same sentence, but the meaning now feels… well, biased. Have you ever had someone bring up the differences in your kids and it made you feel like that person was saying one was better?

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Filed Under: Parenting

Comments

  1. Kendra says

    September 4, 2016 at 11:47 am

    Man, I am feeling this today. People will always make comments on your family. We’re always supposed to be trying for a girl? As if two healthy children aren’t good enough.

    Reply
    • Redhead Baby Mama says

      September 4, 2016 at 12:58 pm

      ALl of the things. Yes to that, too. I’ve been asked when we’re having the third. Are ya’ll done? Aren’t you glad that you have one of each; perfect… when really, it only mattered that they were both alive and well. *le sigh*

      Reply
  2. Kuleen says

    September 4, 2016 at 1:32 pm

    Scarlett has the same coloring as my son. I am willing to bet that one day she will have golden blonde hair that isn’t quite strawberry blonde, but isn’t quite blond either. In some light it will look red. But it will be absolutely gorgeous because it is a rare color.

    Reply
  3. Meghan Cooper says

    September 4, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    It’s for her rosy red cheeks!

    Reply
  4. Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? says

    September 8, 2016 at 8:09 am

    If I had a dollar every time I heard this, I’d have four college funds! I don’t understand why people feel the need to say something. Especially in front of the kids making one feel superior and another inferior!

    Reply
  5. robin mass says

    September 21, 2016 at 7:20 am

    My boys are both brunette like me. I would have been SHOCKED if they came out with any other color. It’s funny because you never know what’s in their genes.

    Reply
  6. Vicky says

    September 21, 2016 at 1:00 pm

    To me it looks like your daughter does have red hair so I guess it depends who you ask. 🙂 My daughter was also born with jet black hair that turned blond and has settled into a light brown. Isn’t it fascinating?

    Reply
  7. Debra says

    September 21, 2016 at 2:05 pm

    What a beautiful family, we love little red heads. Some people seriously don’t think before they talk.

    Reply
  8. Rebecca Bryant says

    September 21, 2016 at 2:08 pm

    I grew up with 6 brothers adn not one of us look exactly alike. I have blonde well know more grey hair, one has red hair and the other have more brownish. GO figure how genetic really work all I know is we all have the same mama.

    Reply
  9. Logan says

    September 21, 2016 at 3:49 pm

    Ahh, people need to keep their opinions to themselves sometimes. You have two beautiful children!

    Reply
  10. Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life says

    September 21, 2016 at 4:27 pm

    I have a son who was born last year, so he does not have siblings, however in our family we all have black hair so we have never been compared. So long as they are healthy, I dont think it matters what colours kids hair is.

    Reply
  11. karen says

    September 21, 2016 at 5:25 pm

    I think that in general, people need to think more carefully about what they ask. I am not a mom, but am ALWAYS asked when I will be. . Maybe thats not a question one should ask…maybe its got a lot of complications. Its something that people feel too comfortable in chatting about (hair color, number of kids, etc…).

    Reply
  12. Terri Steffes says

    September 21, 2016 at 5:58 pm

    I love your blog name and your kids are just plain adorable. I am glad you are sticking with the name. My niece was born with blonde hair and became a redheaded beauty at 16. Those blonde locks turned strawberry blonde (with no chemical help!) so you never know!!!

    Reply
  13. Rachel Langer says

    September 21, 2016 at 9:14 pm

    I ALWAYS get the ‘trying for a girl’ comment. My boys are 9 and 12! You would think that would have stopped by now? How is my family ‘less than’ because I don’t have a daughter? It suits us just fine, NOYB, STFU. Thanks. 🙂

    Reply
  14. Amanda Love says

    September 21, 2016 at 9:17 pm

    It’s ridiculous what other people ask thinking that it’s okay because you’re friends or you’re close. It’s completely insensitive. I love that you chose not to be affected in any way. Please keep your blog title.

    Reply
  15. Taylor Mobley says

    September 21, 2016 at 11:05 pm

    I don’t have kids but I would NEVER say that to someone! You still have one red headed baby! It is catchy and cute! Don’t change it unless YOU want to.

    Reply
  16. Cynthia Spillane says

    September 21, 2016 at 11:19 pm

    I don’t know why people feel they have the right to comment, question, or judge others. “Beautiful kids” should be comment enough.

    Reply
  17. MyTeenGuide says

    September 22, 2016 at 3:32 am

    I encountered this a lot of times when my kids were younger. People ask silly questions!

    Reply
  18. tp keane says

    September 22, 2016 at 9:08 am

    My husband’s whole family are very dark brown, every single one of them…. except his sister. His sister has bright red and curly hair… completely different from ALL of the family. In the next generation my husbands niece has bright red hair also… completely different from the eight other cousins. It happens.

    Reply
  19. Kim says

    September 22, 2016 at 10:11 am

    It’s crazy what people say. I’m pregnant right now and I’m wondering if our 2nd son will have blonde hair too. Neither my Husband or I have blonde hair!

    Reply
  20. Chelsea Damon says

    September 22, 2016 at 11:14 am

    I love the blog name! It doesn’t necessarily need to change just because your life changes a bit. Plus you’ve probably already spent a bunch of time branding. No need to change!

    Reply
  21. Kori says

    September 22, 2016 at 12:49 pm

    My kiddos all have hair on the darker side like mine. But, my oldest and my youngest- their hair gets almost dark blonde in the summertime.

    Reply
  22. Rachel Catherine says

    September 22, 2016 at 1:01 pm

    Genes are funny things. I have dark brown, straight hair and dark brown eyes. My daughter has blue eyes and blonde, curly hair.

    Reply
  23. Terryn Winfield says

    September 22, 2016 at 8:01 pm

    Oh my goodness, people can be silly. I have 6 kids and I have seen the rainbow 🙂 We had 2 that were born red and are now light blonde. One was born very dark and is now blonde and 1 has always been brunette. It’s funny to see people wondering 🙂

    Reply
  24. CourtneyLynne says

    September 22, 2016 at 8:43 pm

    Omg my brother and I were practically twins when we were little… we looked so alike.. then my sister was born and she looked nothing like us! People use to comment on it all the time which use to make me feel bad for my sister….

    Reply
  25. Brittany says

    September 22, 2016 at 9:12 pm

    I definitely have. In Indian culture (my husband’s Indian) the first born is always the one people tend to consider the best. I have three boys and try so hard to make sure they don’t ever feel that.

    Reply
  26. Renee @ The Good Hearted Woman says

    September 23, 2016 at 4:45 pm

    I have five girls, plus a bonus daughter, and I am so grateful (and blessed) that each one of them are so different. When they were born, we had blonds, a brown, a strawberry redhead, and even a Snow White like your daughter. In a general way, all my girls look alike, but as they grow they’ve taken on their own look and external traits. As for hair, we’ve had it all, including blue and violet!

    Reply
  27. Jill Conyers says

    September 23, 2016 at 6:46 pm

    Isn’t it amazing what people will say. Makes me wonder if they think before they speak.

    Reply
  28. Whitney S. says

    September 23, 2016 at 8:30 pm

    I don’t have kids, but that would annoy me people making comments. I was the only kid, so I had no siblings to be compared to haha. However, when I was born, I had golden blonde hair and then when I was 5 years, it was dark brown!

    Reply
  29. Paula says

    September 24, 2016 at 12:09 am

    I love the name of your blog! It’s so original and fun. My son also went totally bald at a few months old, and he went from black hair to blond, when it grew back in.

    Reply
  30. stephanie clark says

    September 25, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    You do you Mama! People are ALWAYS going to have something to say. always. especially on the internet! Do what honors your family and your values and that’s all you need to worry about!

    Reply
  31. Gillian says

    September 25, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    I only have one child so far, but I do think about the possibility of people comparing my children in the future. My son has beautiful, big eyes that people always comment on.

    Reply
  32. katrina gehman says

    September 27, 2016 at 6:45 pm

    i have 2 girls. i get asked a lot if i want a boy, but i’m done. your kids are beautiful

    Reply
  33. arin says

    September 28, 2016 at 9:55 pm

    people always have so much to say! you have such a beautiful family (can’t wait to start my own someday soon!)

    Reply
  34. Bernadette of Mom+Carrot says

    March 31, 2017 at 5:26 pm

    I think people get blinded by the red hair and it flusters them:) I am one of three sisters, two of us had red hair and one did not. My sister without red hair had brown hair (and no freckles too). People would ask my mom, in front of her, if she was adopted! It was horrible. Don’t change the name of your blog, there is not enough redhead blogs out there.

    Reply
    • Redhead Baby Mama says

      April 2, 2017 at 9:11 am

      Agreed. It’s so strange what they latch on to, and how many times I’ve heard it already! 🙂 Thank you for the kind words!

      Reply

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Hey y'all! I'm Lindsey, a southern girl residing in Atlanta. Welcome to my little corner where I share my anecdotes, crafts, recipes, & dose of Disney as I raise my 2 kids! Thanks for following along... I'm so glad you're here! Read More…

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