Once upon a time, I had a high school gym teacher named Coach Boozer. I kid you not. That was his name. This white haired, crabby fellow was the school’s soccer coach, and I don’t think he took too kindly to his regular classes, which is why he came up with this ridiculous self-improvement running syllabus that would take us across the course of the semester.
2-3 days a week, the whole class would suit up in smelly week old gym shorts and hit the track, walking, jogging and running for 40+ minutes, trying to improve on their PR (personal record) each month. No one in the 20-person class really wanted to stink themselves up during 5th period; this would absolutely ruin our chance of impressing the opposite sex for the rest of the day. But, nevertheless, we were forced to trudge around the school’s track until he released us.
Throughout the first week, we were told by Coach Boozer that we were to improve upon our PR each time we “tested” or our grade would suffer. Crap. I know I’m slow, I’m sure as hell not going to get an faster in three weeks. So we rigged the system. We nearly walked the first time we tested. We drug our feet in the dirt until it was a slo-mo jogging man across the finish line. Did it help? Yes. I “improved” each time we tested. Even in the dead cold of November, when panting was like inhaling Jack Frost’s numbing fog breath.
It got to the end of the semester, when we really were jogging at a good pace, unable to carry on a conversation with each other around the track, and possibly falling into the trap that was Coach Boozer’s class regime. We were getting faster. At least I thought I was getting faster. As my friend Hadley and I rounded the corner of track-lap 4, Coach Boozer was unenthusiastically yelling in his faux-British accent (note: he was not born in britain, but had visited over the summer for a month, and came back with a tag-along poorly shaped British accent that came and went over the course of my high school career. #truth) for us to “Run, run! Faster!” Each student that passed him got the same treatment. Run. Faster.
Everyone, except for me. I will never forget my disdain, offense and overwhelming laughter with Coach Boozer when he yelled in his Redcoat lilt, “Faster! Faster! …you run like a pregnant turtle!” I nearly peed myself in hilarity as my jaw hit the ground. I what?! I run like a pregnant turtle?! The visual itself is enough to now send me into giggle fits. I was so offended, but I couldn’t say a word because I was laughing so hard.
Did I run like a pregnant turtle? Did I lob, back and forth? Slow pace? Hunched back? Belly out? To this day, I’m not even sure. I never asked him. I do know that when I run, I still think about this moment in my life, and carry it with me. It makes me laugh, self-evaluate, and push on. It makes me want to do more. Like run the Princess Half Marathon in February. Run to my own pregnant turtle pace across the finish line. Not to make a PR, or beat anyone, but to finish for myself. To do something I didn’t think I could do before.
I hope that you find your moment in life that pushes you. I hope that it’s funny, and not hurtful. I hope it’s inspiring, uplifting and motivational. If you haven’t had yours yet, think of me running across that line past Coach Boozer. Laugh. Run. Do it!
When is the race? I can’t wait until I’m in good enough shape to do this!
A pregnant turtle? That’s hilarious! Where had he seen one lol? I would love to do the Princess Half someday.
Whaaat?! What does that even look like!? Too funny.
That’s so funny, I’m glad you are using it in your favor. I have used things that upset me in the past to push forward too.
What does a pregnant turtle look like, really? Too funny!
I re-read that paragraph where you were called a pregnant turtle about 4 times, trying to visualize what a pregnant turtle would look like when running. I just cannot visualize it! 🙂
That is a fun memory. I like that you have embraced it instead of letting it get you down. Hey, at least you don’t run like Phoebe on Friends..(have you seen that episode?) I have started to mentally prepare for more running when I’m done being pregnant. I would love to hear how your training and half marathon go!
Thats a cute story. So glad that you can embrace it and look back at it and laugh. A pregnant turtle??? LOL
A pregnant turtle? I did not know they could run. Isn’t it funny what we can turn into motivation. Good luck with your training. I bet you will look nothing like a pregnant turtle in the Princess Half. Good luck.
LOL that’s great, I’ve never heard of a pregnant turtle running but I’d sure love to see that on YouTube lol.
LOL! Great visual! It’s amazing what motivates us!
That’s so interesting that his words served as positive motivation for you, because I think I would have been hurt by that comment!
So good that you took it for motivation, I probably would have punched him 😉 LOVE those sneakers!
I’m glad you took his comment for motivation too. I probably would’ve stopped what I was doing and got in his face and said I look like what?? LOL and then fall to the ground in a fit of giggles. 😉
My husband says I run like a crab!
I love that. A pregnant turtle. I love those shoes though.
Ha ha ha!! That made me giggle. I have many moments that make me push forward and keep me motivated. I use them all at different times.
Oh my goodness LOL! I definitely run like a pregnant turtle! I love that his comment inspired and pushed you forward. It’s funny how there are those little moments in our lives that actually (and unexpectedly) end up meaning so much.
Your post reminds me of when I was pregnant with twins and did everything as slow as a pregnant turtle.
That is hilarious and appalling at the same time. What an awesome attitude you have! I love it. Can you send some of that my way…:)
You bet! Twist anything and try to laugh at it to make it easier.
lol. I’d love to see a pregnant turtle… I’ll bet the poor little thing is so awkward.
I know, it’s so strange. I speak with such fervor when I tell the story in person, it still makes me laugh.
Good. Sometimes we need to reach deep and pull those moments out to keep us going forward.
Thanks! I got them several months ago and I LOOOOOVE them. They are so awesome, and worth every cent. I gave up a long time ago on Reebok, and they are so back!
I’d love to see that. What a running pair we would make.
That’s EXACTLY what I did. Gasp, shock, fits of laughter!!
Sometimes I think he needed a good smack, but I guess it’s for the better, now. Thanks about the shoes – I LOVE them!
I think I ended up laughing too hard to be offended in the end. It sent me into fits of giggles!
You’re right. Motivation came out of the blue, here!
lol. I don’t blame her for not running. Lumbering slowness, that’s what it sounds like to me.
lol. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen such a thing, but I’m sure it’s funny in real life, too. Thank you so much for the good luck – as long as I cross the finish line, it’s a raging success for me!
Isn’t it funny? I think it sure is. I can’t tell the story without a smile on my face!
I haven’t seen that episode – sounds funny. But sometimes I DO dance like Elaine from Seinfeld… little kicks. I’ll keep updating on my running progress. Slow and steady wins the race! (wait…. another turtle reference….)
I’m not sure I even know what it looks like. Maybe he was referring to my lumbering slowness. I’ll buy that!
who knows?! It seems not even Google has that answer!
Isn’t that the best? Motivation can come from strange places and help you out later in life.
who the heck knows what a pregnant turtle looks like… not even google has that answer! But, I know that she would be veeeeery slow. Like me…..
You can do it! But I’ll tell ya – the training takes some work. You’ll really have to commit if you’re not already a runner. I’m a great 5k-er, but 13.1 miles takes some working up to. That’s over 4 times what I was used to!
It’s in February – I’m SO stoked about it, and even put in my 3 miles this morning. That running appetite is catching up with me, though!
OMG. I love him AND that saying is just how I run! I’m slow, but I have finished 9 half marathons this year. Run Like A Pregnant Turtle… I’m going to be saying that this weekend during the #RnRLV race!
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NINE?! Wow, you are so awesome! I can only hope to aspire to that level. I want to pick your brain! 🙂