I was lucky enough to avoid unsolicited advice while I was pregnant. Some of my bump.com friends were not, and could tell you a horror story or two about complete strangers approaching them to tell them about their pregnancy, or to clarify how they should be a mother when the baby came.
Some Mamas, or Mamas-to-be can deflect this advice with a smile and thanks, and some cannot help but to give an evil eye back or a silent stare of disbelief. I liked to think that if I was approached by a stranger I would be calm, polite and deflecting. I certainly wouldn’t be rude, because after all, they were trying “to help”, right? Not all advice is bad. Perhaps if I’ve tucked my skirt into my underwear, I’d like to know…. I hope you’d laugh your butt off, and then tell me. 🙂
Yesterday I was in Lowe’s (my most favorite store, besides Target), waiting to ask a question of an associate. Red and I lounged around in the bird feeders, waiting our turn and making silly noises. A lady in her mid-fifties walked up and admired Red’s hair, which is usually the first thing people notice. We talked about her red-headed daughters, and how the gene seemed to escape her grandchildren. I smiled along with her.
***AWKWARD PAUSE IN CONVERSATION***
Then she started in with her advice. I think I sensed it coming, but I couldn’t tell you how. She began to tell me how I should have a large seatbelt on Red, because he could throw himself out of the basket and I wouldn’t be able to catch him. Many children throw themselves out and get all sorts of nasty head injuries. She used her husband’s belts when there were no seat belts, and she still happily carried one for her grandchildren. It was during this last line where her voice and face took on a haughty tone.
I’m sure I looked really confused at her. Red was sitting in his shopping cart liner, which is quite snug already, and I was standing right in front of him, entertaining him while we waited. I realized that I needed to be nice, that she was most likely just being concerned.
I related to her Red’s giant size and how the liner had a belt, but he was already too big for many standard cart seat belts. I was standing right with him, and promised to look after him carefully. Thank goodness the Lowe’s associate was then available! I excused us and scooted over to ask my question about fertilizer.
Thank you lady, for your concern, but I’ve got this. I think. Yes, I’ve got this, and if I need any advice, I’ll go ask my Committee!
What kind of unsolicited advice have you been given? How did you react? Please weigh in! 🙂
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