When I was pregnant with Red, I remember reading a lot. I read “What to Expect,” the book that scares most new mothers to death thinking everything is cancer, tons of local baby magazines, parenting articles, different takes on feeding, diapering and sleep habits, all trying to pinpoint the techniques that were right for our family and all possibilities that Red would be comfortable with. I registered for tons of gear, hit up consignment shops and tried to be smart about purchases. But, even as Red arrived in May of 2011, there was still a lot I didn’t know. Before baby came, there was no way I could have anticipated the drastic nature of a schedule change, or even how much I would fall in love.
Sure, I know that sounds a little cliché… that your heart expands, your love grows, yadda, yadda, yadda, but the sentiment is certainly true, even if we’ve heard that phrase until we’re blue in the face. As far as the schedule switches, exhaustion and necessary gear during baby’s first year? Well, that part’s true, too. Here’s a short list of what I wish I knew before baby came:
You really only need a few things, but you’ll want more.
You really don’t need every piece of gear that’s ever been invented. Honestly, you need diapers, a food source and a car seat. Everything else is secondary, but I guarantee that you’ll want some of it. What are the top things I would recommend? First of all, these items I have grouped by month, as well as a playard, baby seat/swing, high chair, stroller of your choice and a nursing pillow that can pull double duty for tummy time.
There are tons of registry lists out there, but I’ve never seen one that didn’t have TONS of extra stuff on there. Things you didn’t need, things that you might want to try, or things that might not be right for your parenting style.
Stay as flexible as possible.
Baby doesn’t always like a schedule (but he will prefer a routine), and as soon as you find your rhythm, baby will change it up and screw with you. When you’re learning to breastfeed and find your way with your newborn, the doorbell will ring, friends will appear and stay for 3 hours, and you’ll have to deal with it. Juggling everything will take a dash of patience and some creativity, so try to stay loose. You can do it, just try not to be rigid. Stay as steady as you can as you feel through those first few weeks. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!! If you need a dish, a pair of extra hands, or someone just to hold your newborn while you take a shower, ask! You’d be surprised how many people are willing to support you!
It’s going to be hard as hell, but you’ll make it.
It’s tough balancing a new life! But, at the end of the day, if everyone is safe, alive and fed, you’re doing your job. Sleep will be fleeting, meals will be harder to make and consume in one sitting, but it will all be worth it. Leave the laundry unfolded and tend to what needs loving. Take a thousand photos, and make your memories in your own time. Heed only the advice you want to, trust your instincts, and make the choices that are right for your family.
What are some of the things you wish you knew before your babies were born?
Being flexible is SO important. Things never seem to go as planned.
Yep. This pretty much describes how I felt after my first pregnancy. You learn a lot in the first one, and by the second one, it’s all smooth sailing. You know. Mostly…
I wish I had known how little sleep you get with a newborn. I learned I needed to nap when my son took a nap.
When I had my first baby, I wanted every piece of baby gear out there. EVERY ONE. I’ve since learned that I really don’t need all that stuff. But it’s still super fun!
Great post… there are so many things not needed for babies and Mamas out there but yes I agree… still fun to want. Also a great reminder that you will NOT love every single second of being a new mom and that is okay.
I was pretty overwhelmed when my first child was born. There are so many thing I had never even considered until having a child.
The only thing I wish I truly knew was that I would be doing it all 100% alone with my first. I got pregnant at 17 and raised him alone until I was 21. Zero help, zero moral support. Everything else was cake besides always being alone.
With my first born the lack of sleep was a shocker. I was so mad about it, lol. It was a stressful time as my husband had a mystery illness they never could figure out that nearly killed him. I’d been dealing with that the last 2 months of my pregnancy and then I had another person to take care of. Thankfully baby #2 was less stressful. Now baby #3, whole other story.
We ended up with way more things than we needed, this article is great!
Raising kids and now enjoying three grandchildren I think staying flexible is so important. Kids grow up so fast – cherish every minute!
I totally agree that being flexible is super important. It’s hard to learn how to be flexible though if you’re not already. I was always on a strict schedule anyway, but boy do things change when you bring a new baby home!
I am always amazed at the amount of stuff people get that they just don’t need at their showers. I say stick with the basics and you’ll be fine.
Loved the baby picture that you shared. Made me smile thinking about my own babies.
I love that first photo! My daughter couldn’t stop saying “AWWWW!” You’ll have a new little one so soon!
I like that apps are available now to see the size of the baby at any given time. Books with pictures were nice but I like the apps better. Love the picture. 🙂
I guess the best advice would be to stay calm and keep a level head. Everything will be just fine!
These about sum it up perfectly. Many new moms could read this and relate I am sure!
I know all about wanting all the stuff. I haven’t even been pregnant and I have a list made up of all the stuff I would want for a POTENTIAL baby.
I keep trying to tell my wife that she doesn’t need every gadget out there to raise a baby. It might one of the reasons we are waiting to have a kid… She wants to be able to afford all of the things!
We got some really good advice early on. A friend told us we weren’t going to break the baby. Of course we were insanely cautious, but the takeaway was that we could relax a little.
You can read all the baby books and still feel lost. It’s good to let parents know what to expect & that they aren’t alone.
I am not a mom yet but I think you gave some great advice! I know you are gonna revisit your own knowledge again for baby #2 and congrats!
I am sure all mothers go through wanting to give their child the world when they are pregnant. You hit the nail on the head though, they only need diapers, food, a car seat, and lots of love.
I think the best thing is to stay flexable. You will know when it is right.
This is some wonderful advice! You hit the nail on the head for all of these pieces of advice!
Yep, you have to be flexible. LOL, that’s the one thing everyone says because babies are never predictable!
Coming from a Type A parent and my own Type A personality, flexible has never been in my vocabulary. And then I met my husband and even though I am still very Type A and with my anxiety and PTSD problems, you can’t really throw stuff at me, but I have learned to be much more flexible with kiddo.
I think that last note is the most important one to remember for new parents: it’s going to be hard but you’ll make it! Seriously, I had NO IDEA how hard it would be to have a newborn baby…I wish someone had prepared me!